Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Step Right Up and See the Freak Show!

First off, yes I'm late. Second, I flaked last week (I blame Nichole. She was in town and it threw off my groove). I'm a bad blogger. I know, I should be dipped in tar and rolled in feathers. My finger nails should be pulled off one by one. I should be asked strange questions by small sage Oriental men like "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" until my head explodes. It's been that kind of week.

Now that that's out of the way.

I've mentioned last time I blogged (Yeah, Two weeks ago, I know) that I'm stepping away from the usual Supes. My story doesn't have Vamps. No Ware-creatures are found. Admittedly, it started out with the usual suspects, but like all good plans, that went awry. I've made my main characters an entirely new race of Supe, one that has it's origins in Lord Of The Rings, but a new one none the less. I don't stop there however, but kind of re-cap all the "lost" supes that are around, just forgotten. I didn't realize how forgotten these races were till I answered a couple of questions last time (both on the blog and in person) about some of the Supes I mentioned. So I thought it'd be a good idea to get you all re-acquainted with some of our long neglected sister races.

The first race is a given. ELVES. These are our beautiful, mystical, and wise brethren. Tall and usually blond, they live in the forests making beautiful music and art, only allowing a few special Humans to ever see them and bask in their glory. Their entire existence and everlasting life is for one purpose: to take care of the Earth and her bounty. Like Orlando Bloom in a blond wig, they really are that gorgeous. Elves have an affinity to silver, and cannot touch iron in any form. They do not live in trees and make cookies.

The DROW are like Elves but evil. As light as Elves are, the Drow are dark. Every Elf that loves a human, there is a Drow that will destroy one. Drow have the same love of silver and hate of iron as their goody-goody counterparts.

REDCAPS are evil little twisted man like creatures that hang out on well traveled roads. They'd rather kill you and smear their hats with you blood (thus the name), as look at you. I have a friend that once told this joke: "An army with a hundred battalions was cresting a hill. In the distance they saw a Redcap jumping up and down. The general sent the first battalion over the hill. From over the hill came bloodcurdling screams. They saw the Redcap jumping again. The next battalion was sent, with the same result. And again. By this time the General was mad. Surely his army could take out a single Redcap!! He sent over the very last battalion, and again there was this bloodcurdling scream. This time however, one of his men crawled over the hill to the General and yelled 'We never stood a chance, there were TWO of them!!!'" That gives you a little clue about how nasty they were!

IMPs are mischievous fairy like creatures that like to steal things. Especially shiny things. The next time your keys go missing, it's probably an Imp. They differ from your usual garden variety Fairy by not wearing the flower petal clothing that you get with the regular fairy. They love music and food, and will do almost anything for you if you treat them well. Keep Imps on your good side though, if you ever want to see your car keys again.

You will probably never see a BROWNIE. They only work at night, and only if you bribe them with food and drink first. Brownies will do any work you have around the house from cleaning to laundry. They've even been known to cobble shoes. While they are needed, Brownies live somewhere in your house that no one else will. Usually somewhere like a storage room or crawl space. And as long as they are needed, and not treated like servants, they will help out.

A GNOME is a little slumped over man shaped creature that lives in the earth. It's actually the embodiment of the Earth Elemental, kind of like a Water Sprite. Gnomes are a little different from most Supes, in that there have been actual Gnome sightings caught on video. I haven't seen them yet (but I will as soon as I'm done with the blog), but from what I gather, there kind of like the Nessie sightings... black and white and grainy. And honestly, probably faked.

DWARVES are usually a lot like LOTR and Terry Pratchett led us to believe. (side note, if you don't know who Terry Pratchett is, shame on you and drive directly to the closest book store!!!) They live underground, mining for gold and precious gems. Master weapon makers and jewelers. The main thing to remember when talking to a Dwarf is that you can't be sure if your talking to a male or female Dwarf, they both have such full beards. Though I would think that if you're talking to a Dwarf, and the beard has a pretty pink ribbon in it, it's a female (or at least a very liberal male).

The weirdest one I know of is the POOKA. This strange little shape shifter will change itself into any dark animal (usually a horse), in order to interact with you, and lead you away from danger. They can speak to humans, so I'm sure that gets a little weird. Next time you're stone cold sober, and a big black horse tells you to move over... LISTEN TO IT!!!

I'm sure that there are other's I've missed. Let me know if you think of any.


Nichole R. Bennett said...

Pretty sure I said I wouldn't take the blame for your blog being late. That's 2 beers you owe me now!

sithyogini said...

no witnesses