Life is a River, and I'm Still Wearing Water Wings

Life is for lack of a better word, organic. It is ever changing and mutating, always different and full of surprises. I wake up every morning not knowing what to expect other than the unexpected.

So I don't get wonkey when my best laid plans to get some writing done get thrown out the window. My writing happens when it happens. The same can be said of my painting, my sewing, and my home improvement projects. If I'm not in the mood to write something, I'm not going to sit there at the computer and force myself to write something just to get my word count up.

Of course there are times when the words do come pouring out and I'm nowhere near my computer. I'll be at dinner, at work, or playing mommy. For that reason I carry a notebook with me wherever I go. I can honestly say that there is more of my story written in my notebook than there is on the computer I'm currently writing on.

I long ago learned that it's far far easier to float along with the fluid movement of my life than to try to swim upstream.

Heather

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans

This week's blog won't have a theme.  Unless you count being late and stressed and running around like a chicken with it's head cut off a theme.  I don't.  I call that life.

I'll be honest.  I'm a planner and a list maker.  I have MANY calendars and a palm pilot to keep track of where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing.  I have a grocery list on the fridge and a to-do-list next to my computer.  My husband claims that I just like to be able to cross items OFF the list.  He may be right.

But, in the end, it doesn't matter.  It all gets thrown out the window somewhere between getting out of bed and pouring my first cup of coffee.

Sometimes my writing is like that, too.   There are times I need a good kick in the butt to get back on track.  That can be hard to find in Western South Dakota.  It's not like I can hit a Mystery Writers of America meeting for inspiration.  (Not that the Black Hills Writers Group isn't cool, they just don't have the same number of published writers!)

I've found that it helps when friends ask "how's the book coming?"  I feel guilty if I have to give the same answer to someone twice.  There's a great feeling of accomplishment to know I'm further ahead today then I was last time they asked — even if it's only a thousand words!

And so, after a week that included more meetings then I care to count, a trip to the ER to learn about an infection that looks JUST LIKE appendicitis, not as much house work as should have been done, and putting up a Christmas tree, there's no theme to this week's blog.  Nor is there much progress done on Ghost Mountain.  

As we enter the holiday season, my wish for all writers is that they remember one thing.  It's awfully hard to write about life, when you don't take the time to actually live it!

Blessings,

Nichole

A Vampire Walks into a Bar....

I'm not a very funny writer. Scary? Sometimes. Evocative? I'd say yes. But I don't write the kind of laugh out loud moments -- or even quiet chuckle moments -- that would classify me as a humorist.

Which doesn't mean I don't think humor and the paranormal should mix, just that I don't write it. The closest I come is a touch of wit -- like having the Mayor doing a particularly benign crossword puzzle in the spec episode of Buffy I wrote, or pointing out the coroner's love of Grateful Dead teddy bears in my spec X-files.

My favorite kinds of paranormal have moments of levity in them. The snappy one-off comebacks of Buffy. The tomato as villain fruit in the Kim Harrison Witch series.

We laugh when we're amused, but we also laugh when we're afraid. The two are connected on a primal level. But as any comedian will tell you, "dying is easy, comedy is hard." It takes a special type of writer to make people laugh. I think it's as much a natural talent as singing on key. Sure you can learn to warble like a canary, but it's never quite the same as for someone for whom it just flows.

I'm hard-pressed to point out the funny moment in my manuscript. It's not all gloom and doom, mind you, but it's just not funny -- at least not to me. Unless my writing comes across as unintentionally funny, which is possible.

I admire those who can lighten up the darkness. It's not my scene.

Tactical Humor

My creative writing career began as a humor columnist for Illinois Magazine. I didn’t realize I could write humor until I did it for money. Then I couldn’t stop. I love cracking myself up as I write and I hope the reader gets a laugh out of it too, which isn’t always the case, no matter who you are or what you write, because humor is subjective. You might find someone slipping on a banana peel hilarious. The next guy might think it’s stupid.

But most stories have some humor in them at some point, in one form or another. Even horror novels like JAWS have a laugh or too in them (we’re gonna need a bigger boat) and those laughs can be gleaned from many different techniques. Let me break it down.

ACTION: Humor can come from simple action. Let’s go with the JAWS theme here. Remember the scene in the movie when Chief Brody and company answer the screams of a girl yelling “SHARK!” The tension is building, the hunt is on, and all guns are pointing in the water at… wait for it…a kid wearing a fin. Then he points to his brother and says, “He made me do it.” That’s funny.

SETTING: The atmosphere of a scene can provide humor as well. Right down to the paint on the walls or the car someone is driving. A creative use of setting can provide comic relief in any story. Here’s a scene from UNCOVERING AMETHYST where my protag is being introduced to the cottage she’ll be staying in, decorated by her amorous aunt:
Fiona grabbed a remote control.
"Okay, honey, now here's the switch for the fireplace."
Poof! The fireplace turned on.
"And this is for the stereo."
"Ohhhhhh, my love, my darrrrlin, I hunger for your touch…" sang a Righteous Brother.
"And this works the Jacuzzi."
I almost expected Barry White to pop out from beneath the bubbles.
"Can't you just see a young couple falling in love here?" Fiona clapped her hands together.
Actually, I could see a young couple plowing through a box of condoms here, but who was I to judge?

DIALOGUE: Much of the humor in a novel will happen in dialogue. Both internal and external. A conversation between a wise-cracking detective vs. an upper-class socialite is bound to have some funny in it. The side-kick in my book is a bartender with an attitude. One of her favorite things to do is to put people in their place and teach rude customers manners. Here’s an example of that:
"Hey, bartender," shouted a man a few feet down. "I've been waiting here for ten minutes trying to get a drink."
"Oh yeah?" Cin turned to face him. "Why don't you make a complaint on my website? It's kissmyass.com."


DESCRIPTION: Similes and metaphors are a perfect tool for injecting humor into a story. Here’s one I used to describe a local publisher in my book:
Shea continued the paper but when it came to reporting, he was like a blind man driving a car. He could fire up the engine, but it was only a matter of time before he would run it off the road.

Or in describing a house, a personality, or a person’s looks, get creative.
Here’s another example:
Her hair was platinum even-I-don't-pretend-it's-real blonde, her nose small and her eyebrows tweezed within an inch of their lives. Judging from the look of her face, I'd bet the local Avon stock was seriously depleted.

I personally enjoy laughing out loud when I read a story, so that’s the kind of work I produce. So there you are, have fun with your writing and for more examples, here’s some of my favorite funny authors:

Janet Evanovich
Lisa Lutz
JA Konrath
Ellen Shanman
Toni McGee Causey
Marian Keyes
Carl Hiassen

Barb

I'm Only Laughing Because I'm So Scared

You have to make them laugh their ass off after you've terrified them out of thier skin. I consider it a coping mechanism. You can't have absolutly nothing but tension, terror, and taute nerves throuout your whole story. It's just too much for people to handle. Even Shakespeare put at least one sceen of absolute comedy in every tragedy he wrote, he found the sublime in the ridiculous. Think the drunken guard at the gate of Hamlet. If you don't break up the tension, you loose your readers.

I can find the sublime in the ridiculous all around me. Trip a friend while running away from a zombie? Hilarious. Serve garlic bread to a vampire just to watch her squirm? I'm in stitches. Buy a designer flea collar for your ware wolf buddy? Comedy gold.

That's just a glimpse into my deeply scarred emotional disorders. How does this work with what I write? Since I tend to write as myself, all of the weird things that I find funny have a way of working into my story. And as those who know me would attest, I would do each and every one of those above things if given half the chance.

Take Wanda for example in the story I'm writing. She's your average thirty something woman with a bullet hole in her head and complete and total amnesia. And if that wasn't enough, she also happens to be a Ware-creature. Now, I know what you're thinking.. Ware-Wolf. Nope, not our girl. She's a Ware-Cat. To be specific, she's a Calico-Maine Coon mix, which makes her you're average house cat. To me, that's damn funny. Because who would want to be a CAT for gods sake? Everybody wants to be a wolf, or at least something halfway impressive.



Like I said, the sublime in the ridiculous.

Humor in Writing...O..Kay?

If you have ghosts, werewolves, vampires etc. in a story, you're bound to have terror and tension. How do you add humor to balance the scales without making your characters sound like cheesy excuses for slasher flick victims?

You obviously can't have pie-throwing vampires or werewolves juggling flaming swords, but the everyday life deal can be pretty funny so you work with that. Case in point, BLOOD SHIELD my paranormal suspense for nano, has this scene. Liv Corrigan, fem. main character and psychic, has been sleeping in the hero's bed (not like that lol) after waiting all night for him to return from some dangerous mission. She wakes, goes to look for him, and almost knocks him down as he opens the bedroom door. Both scream and the pink rose in its vase along with the scrambled eggs on the breakfast tray go flying. Tough guy with eggs in his windblown dark hair, rose petals on his shirt, and a scowl makes a hilarious picture to me. A pyschic who can't see whose on the other side of the door? LOL! A moment later the tension is back, danger looms, but Liv and Jack are better for the laughter. Throw in the ridiculous and smile.

Okay this bit is a little off topic, but I wanted to share. My grandma passed away on October the 13th. Her home was ransacked and all her valubles stolen the night she died. We've gotten them all back but for her antique dresser she prized. My mom asked me about it and I got this picture of where it was. (No previous seeing or knowledge I swear!) I'm still creeped out that I 'SAW' where my grandma's stolen dresser was, and the cops found it that exact place yesterday. I'm sure she'd be happy her dresser is back. Guess where the missing will was? Yep, taped to the back of one of the drawers. Wierd stuff happens. Watch out for it and believe.)

Beth

Humor and sex just happen — well, humor does anyway.

Humor is hard to write.  That's why I don't try.

I'm not saying my stuff is funny.  I'm not saying it's not.  I just don't TRY to make it funny.

When I write, I try to be "real."  I try to make my characters like you and me.  Ok, so there might be a little more of me in my main character and a little more of the guy who annoyed the crap out of me at the grocery store in either the bad guy or the victim.   Sometimes what I write comes out sarcastic, at least to my inner voice.  But my inner voice has been known to have a sarcastic streak, so that shouldn't surprise me.  

It shouldn't come as a surprise to those who know me that I don't try to be funny.  The "3 Stooges" were never my favorites and I just don't get slapstick.  I mean, why is physical abuse funny?  I'm much better with the one-liners or the deadpan answers from off-the-wall.

I guess I inherited my dad's sense of humor.  He's the guy who, when a waitress says "my name is Jane, and I'll be your server" replies immediately with "my name's Jim and I'll be your customer."  Or will explain to the checkout lady at Wally-world that he just returned from a vacation and only has Hawaiian currency.  Will they take that?  (Honestly, you'd be amazed how many don't realize that Hawaii is part of the United States and, therefore, has the same currency!)

So, for me, humor happens.  Sex doesn't.  Well, not in my fictional life anyway.  I can't get my married couple to kiss without it sounding stupid. 

In my real life?  Well, that's for me to know and you to NOT find out...  at least not in my writing!

Blessings,

Nichole