Friday, March 19, 2010

County landfill

I think it would be a step up, at least it makes money, but seriously my desk is a ruin. I have evidence of trying to clear the clutter. There are various trays from Staples purchased for me by my husband and son over the years stuffed full of pens, crochet hooks and box cutters. Yeah, not your normal desk clutter but somehow things that gravitate towards mine since I also have balls of yarn, empty boxes, rulers, and book lights to name some other things peeking at me from the piles.

A top three of the stacks are also my stuffed crows: Edger, Allan and Poe. Do you really need their names explained? I originally wanted to go with Hugin and Munin but I ended up with three crows instead of two ravens so... anyway, I thought it would take less explaining with Poe over Odin anyway. I still reserve the right for Hugs and Mugs since I have the giant birdcage I bought and painted hanging from the ceiling empty and waiting. Yes, it is there, just gathering dust and cobwebs in the corner above my head. Yes, people do give me very weird looks. No, they don't come over and look in anymore. I did consider putting in my musical Gorey cat - it plays "It's Raining Cats and Dogs" - but just didn't seem the same having my black and white striped cat in there alone with no birds to contemplate.

Instead I have perched on my array of computer speakers, there are a set of four (being a child of the heavy metal 80s how could you have any less?) there are Pooh puff toys clutching fake claw nail-packets. Eeyore is holding my silver talons from a high-end store that make me look like a demented cat-woman when I wear them, Pooh has a set of blood red tipped steel spikes and Tigger has fur gloves with real lynx claw tips (harvested legally in Canada - don't ask, I'm weird) and my other Eeyore with the Mad Hatter hat has a set of Lee Press On's because he felt left out.

To give theatrical lighting to the setting I have three different real Tiffany lamps that I can turn on at will - a butterfly, a snail or a lighthouse. The lighthouse is my favorite despite being the least particolored in that it is all blue with white trim. My family is convinced I'm just dying to burn down the house because the lamps get so hot so fast. Their solution was to buy and hang multi hued Christmas lights around the perimeter of the room with a switch. Whore-lights, my son calls them. Just looks so damned tacky that the name fits. I hung my Victorian tea hat up near the stupid damned lights and thanked my husband kindly and proceeded to use the lights at night instead of my bedside light for ambient light, it makes him feel appreciated, and to be honest, it does add a blush color to the room far nicer than regular lighting. However, I can't see Martha Stewart giving this her stamp of approval anytime soon. We look like the circus from Bradbury barfed indoors.

All this without getting to my various toolboxes, the potted plant, my hard hat or the model airplanes made out of beer cans that were given to me... Ah well. Guess I'll have to keep some of my odd inspirations in the closet until next time c'est la vie.

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